If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You need a sexual gate keeper
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
