you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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