I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.