we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am