I feel great
I just peed on a car
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.