He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"