Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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