take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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