# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i love accidental penises.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You took a bar mat shot.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
