ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
