my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
