All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
