Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
