Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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