if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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