It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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