No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
