I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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