No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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