9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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