just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
