he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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