I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
