SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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