I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
