Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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