I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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