Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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