And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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