his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I could make wine with my vomit
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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