just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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