I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
