She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
