idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
