I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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