I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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