Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
