Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
