He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We're using joints as your birthday candles
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
