I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Your penis caused this!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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