We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
