I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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