dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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