Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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