i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
