Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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