just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
