his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
