remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
