Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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