people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
