At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
