College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
