Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
