Dual....:-)
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
