Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
