how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
