Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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