what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
