I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
