Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
