Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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