And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I cannot find my penis.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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