Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
