then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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