The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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