why didn't you poke me back
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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