hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
