He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize