would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
