It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
