There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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