i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
